lowermarshhammer 4:18 Fri Dec 19
Pussy
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Right now I've got your attention.
In a moment of weakness / madness earlier this year I promised to get Mrs LMH and Princess LMH a cat when we moved from a flat to a house.
Cat not a dog for various reasons.
It will have to be indoors only cat because if it comes back with a sparrow or suchlike I will probably kick the shit out of it what with me being a bit of a nature boy.
Will it shit everywhere and scratch the shit out of everything or will it be a cuddly cute fluffball that flushes after it's crapped in the toilet?
Should I get a kitten and brainwash it into behaving itself ?
advice from the pussy lovers on here please
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
Davenport
4:18 Fri Dec 19
Re: Pussy
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Cats are for benders
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lowermarshhammer
4:19 Fri Dec 19
Re: Pussy
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it's not me, it's for the house witches
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Lily Hammer
4:19 Fri Dec 19
Re: Pussy
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LMH
I want a link to Mrs LMH's pussy before I can comment. And how old is the princess, before I know if I need any more links?
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Ricky Bobby
4:19 Fri Dec 19
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Dogs need a Master
Cats need a Slave
WHO are you?
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WHOicidal Maniac
4:19 Fri Dec 19
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"I will probably kick the shit out of it what with me being a bit of a nature boy."
Are you sure? Doesnt sound like it...
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Eggbert Nobacon
4:24 Fri Dec 19
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to quote Rowdy Roddy Piper - "Nature Boy, what's that mean? Do you run around the woods naked, eating bark ?"
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Mcavennie
4:25 Fri Dec 19
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The cat will be fine, providing you show it enough attention as a kitten the fuckers are happy to sleep all day and not destroy anything, litter trays stink though.
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lowermarshhammer
4:26 Fri Dec 19
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domestic cats that are only living because of humans and who predate wild birds are not cool in my book
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penners28
4:27 Fri Dec 19
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go to a charity and get a house cat. should be house broken etc already
cats are for pros by the way. dogs are CUNTS
*waits for sold0
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The Joker
4:39 Fri Dec 19
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You're a bit of a 'nature boy'? What is more natural than a predatory creature (a cat), hunting and killing?
Anyway, it'll be fine. While penners is right that an older cat will be housebroken and you'll be doing a good thing for a rescue cat, you'll have ot make sure it is a housecat or it'll go mental wanting to go out. Whereas if you get a kitten and it is brought up as a house cat it'll be happy enough.
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Grumpster
4:47 Fri Dec 19
Re: Pussy
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Animals will generally (97% in my world) end up acting to the specifications of how they are treated.
You give them lots of love and attention and don't hit them for the sake of hitting them, then they will be good as gold unless they're ill, in which case they won't be able to help curling the odd one out if you're not there on hand instantly to get them in the garden etc.
Any dogs that bite humans are either born cunts (probabl rare) or are owned by cunts who hit them and the same with cats.
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Badger1
4:51 Fri Dec 19
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rag doll cats are good indoor cats. Mate breeds them but aint cheap
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AKA ERNIE
4:52 Fri Dec 19
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Cats can be very easily trained to use litter trays indoors, just make sure its well away from where they eat.
Get a scratching post and get them to use it and at first give then a treat till theyre used to it.
If that fails sellotape on side of settee will stop them scratching.
Go for a mog rather than a full special breed much cheaper and longer life span.
If you choose a kitten get it from a reputable pet shop rather than gumtree like a few of my clients.
If you get an older cat get it from a rescue centre rather than fucking gumtree.
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Mr. Burns
4:53 Fri Dec 19
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I'm not really one for cats but I met one last weekend that was a British Blue Shorthair. Absolutely superb animal.
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AKA ERNIE
4:55 Fri Dec 19
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Mr b they are one of the friendliest breeds along with ragdolls.
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Hermit Road
5:01 Fri Dec 19
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Save yourself the bother. A few times a week, scour the local street for shit from a small dog then con deal it in different parts of the house before getting so passed you can't remember where you put it. Also, on arriving home from work, take off your shoes and rub the soles all over the kitchen surfaces.
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Mr. Burns
5:02 Fri Dec 19
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ERN,
He was very friendly and had to put up with two other cats bashing him about much to my disgust.
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Hermit Road
5:03 Fri Dec 19
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If you do ignore my advice and get a cat, ask the vet to snip your bollocks off while he's doing your feline's.
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Arko
5:03 Fri Dec 19
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lowermarsh, you don't sound like a cat person really, so I'd probably reconsider your choice of pet if I were you.
As others have said get a scratching post, as cats are territorial. Not only does a cat wear away its claws by scratching, they also spread their scent all over the place (not detectable by human noses though).
If you don't provide 'legal' scratching opportunities the cat will take to furniture, carpets, whatever else is available.
If they are cuddly or little monsters depends on the general temperament of the individual cat and can also vary due to mood changes from the cat, just like with human beings really.
Cats are very proud and usually confident animals.
If they bring in a bird or mouse and put it at your feet, it's their way of showing gratitude towards you, they are trying to bring you some food as a thank you for giving them food too.
If as a nature lover you would get angry about that gesture and scold the cat this would utterly confuse it, have you ever been scolded for giving someone a present.
Cats, even when kept at home, remain hunters and killers by nature. if you cannot cope with that concept, don't get a cat.
In short: Cats are not for everybody. they cannot be trained to behave like a dog.
Or come for a cuddle when the human owner feels like it.
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